The Response to Margaret Thatcher's Death - What is that all about?

The death of Magaret Thatcher this week seems to have unleashed a whole wealth of emotional outpouring and whatever your political point of view, no one can deny, that she left a legacy of some sort, good and bad.

As a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, I was interested more in the extremes of emotion that have expressed, so much anger, hatred, blame, violent language, cynisicm on the one side with affection, respect, loss and sadness on the other.

So what is this all about?

I am of the school of thought that whenever we express an emotion, it is a barometer of what is really going on for us at any one particular moment, or indeed life in general. It is the clue that our unconscious is letting us know that there is something that needs to be addressed.

If, for a moment,  we take this to be true, does this mean that Margaret Thatcher's death is an opportunity for people to express long contained negative emotions regardless of who it is aimed at or is it a reflection of what is going on for them at the moment?

Or, for those you who are more into the spiritual side, is it another step on our journey as human beings? As no one can deny that we are changing as a nation, faster than ever before.

Whatever, the reason, all those who are expressing these extreme emotions and views, such as hatred, anger, ridicule, sadness, fear, guilt, blame, jealousy etc, are are doing the right thing (although, arguably inappropriately). Again, my school of thought is that by bottling up or ignoring emotions, we create a pressure cooker effect where we just accumulate more and more of the same emotion, until they eventually erupt onto some poor unsuspecting soul or group of people, such as with Margaret Thatcher.

Some medical sources are now demonstrating how potentially holding onto these negative emotions, which we replay at varying intervals, could also be damaging for the body. (Read the book by Louise L Hay, You Can Heal Your Life)

This could be because the unexpressed negative emotions are stored in the cells within the body, as memory. So that when we encounter something that triggers that memory, we also access the emotional memory. Once the event has played out,  the original memory is then updated with the new information (emotion) and stored away until the next time. Resulting in an even bigger response than last time.

An example of this can be when someone has a phobia, of say, a spider. The moment they see or know of a spider, the body goes immediately to a response, be it to run, or stand still with fear.  And this happens so quickly, the person is unaware of the process that is going. Where their brain has recognised the trigger (the spider), accessed the memory and then produces a suitable response (the emotion).

So, potentially then, not expressing negative emotions, could lead to problems for the future.

Whether all the negative emotion is literally about Margaret Thatcher is questionable. As you can see, the emotions being expressed will more likely be the accumulation of memories. 

However, I am wondering that whilst it is not respectful, whether this might be just a good thing?  Allowing people to 'get it off their chest' all that they are angry about and at the same time to clear the air ?

I live and work in and around the  Hampshire (Basingstoke), Berkshire and Surrey borders working with people who are experiencing negative emotions that manifest themselves in many different ways. Email me in confidence if you would like to know how to help yourself let these go, kim@kimsearle.co.uk

Who Do You Think You Are? Updated

I have been preparing for the first in my series of workshops called Journey's of Discoveries, "Who Do You Think You Are?" starting on Thursday 1st November in Basingstoke.

In this first one, I am going to talk about personality types and how we all differ.

We are each of us unique, and whilst this evening looks at just one model of how we can measure this, (based on Myers Briggs Type Indicator) there are so many ways that we can we differ.

Myers Briggs, (a mother and daughter psychologist) used Carl Jung's theory of archetypes and developed  a more usuable format for everyday life by identifying 4 key preferences

• How we re-charge our batteries
• How we communicate with the world
• How we make decisions
• How we live our life.

Within each of these areas, there are 2 opposites ends of a spectrum and altogether Myers Briggs suggest there are 16 'types' which enable us to identify our preferences.

And it is here that I issue my own health warning! Any model that tries to 'pigeon hole' us, say who or what we are should be used with caution, as it can only ever be a guideline. We are, each of us , complex human beings, and always much more than any model says we are. For example, for many of us, who we are as parents maybe different to the person we are at work or  when with  friends. It really does beg the question "Who do you think you are?"

We had a brilliant evening walking through our different preferences and discussing how we work, and just as importantly how others do! Fortunately the group was large enough to have some of each type which made it more interesting.

If you would like to find out what your preference is for each of these, then drop me an note and I will send you out the questionnaire.

Who can forget Matt Lucas’ Hypnotist character Kenny Craig and his immortal words  “Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes….you're under “

Most people’s impressions of hypnotherapy, comes from similar stage and TV shows, as well as from the idea of an old man using a pocket watch to induce a hypnotherapeutic trance.

"So what is hypnotherapy?" I am asked frequently. 

Whilst I cannot remember the first time I was hypnotised formally, I do know that the hypnotic state (also known in the trade as a trance) is one that I and many others, easily move in and out of on a regular basis during the day.

You know what I am talking about, particularly when I say have you ever found yourself having driven for several miles without being aware of doing so.

Or maybe you have been so engrossed in doing something you had no idea where the time has gone?

Perhaps you have been concentrating on what you were doing, and someone has said something that made you jump, because you have been completely unaware of what is going on around you.

This is the altered state or trance which results when a person narrows their focus of attention.

I like to close my eyes when I am hypnotised, purely  because I can focus on what is being said and to limit the distraction of everything around me, but I have seen people who prefer to keep their eyes open, only closing them once they feel comfortable to do so. 

Usually there is some form of induction, (although this is not always necessary) that helps the client relax and to get in the right state. This might be something like "And as you sit there with your eyes closed, you can begin to relax, noticing your breathing, in...and out and with each easy breath in you can begin to ...." once the client is relaxed, a Cognitive Hypnotherapist (my particular training of hypnotherapy) will then move onto the desired positive states that has been discussed with you.

They say that your mind is like a parachute - best when open, and in this instance it is true. 

Whilst your conscious mind keeps busy with what is being said (your desired state, using your words), your unconscious mind focuses on the meanings that are relevant for you and this is what makes it completely unique for you - clever eh? And this approach works for most things, more happiness, greater peace, calm, relaxation, more confidence, less stress, anxiety, as well as typical issues such as phobia's and habits etc.

To end the session, you will either be counted back into the room, or something like "and with each deep breath  you take you can feel more energised and ready to come back to the now"

Contrary to popular opinion, you are in control at all times. I have been known to open my eyes to discuss something that came up during a  session, and after having dealt with it, closed my eyes re-entering a state of relaxation.

Responses to the hypnotic state can vary from  drifting away to somewhere very lovely, to remaining conscious all the way through.

Invariably, the hypnosis may not seem long enough!

KimSearleHypnotherapy