The Response to Margaret Thatcher's Death - What is that all about?

The death of Magaret Thatcher this week seems to have unleashed a whole wealth of emotional outpouring and whatever your political point of view, no one can deny, that she left a legacy of some sort, good and bad.

As a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, I was interested more in the extremes of emotion that have expressed, so much anger, hatred, blame, violent language, cynisicm on the one side with affection, respect, loss and sadness on the other.

So what is this all about?

I am of the school of thought that whenever we express an emotion, it is a barometer of what is really going on for us at any one particular moment, or indeed life in general. It is the clue that our unconscious is letting us know that there is something that needs to be addressed.

If, for a moment,  we take this to be true, does this mean that Margaret Thatcher's death is an opportunity for people to express long contained negative emotions regardless of who it is aimed at or is it a reflection of what is going on for them at the moment?

Or, for those you who are more into the spiritual side, is it another step on our journey as human beings? As no one can deny that we are changing as a nation, faster than ever before.

Whatever, the reason, all those who are expressing these extreme emotions and views, such as hatred, anger, ridicule, sadness, fear, guilt, blame, jealousy etc, are are doing the right thing (although, arguably inappropriately). Again, my school of thought is that by bottling up or ignoring emotions, we create a pressure cooker effect where we just accumulate more and more of the same emotion, until they eventually erupt onto some poor unsuspecting soul or group of people, such as with Margaret Thatcher.

Some medical sources are now demonstrating how potentially holding onto these negative emotions, which we replay at varying intervals, could also be damaging for the body. (Read the book by Louise L Hay, You Can Heal Your Life)

This could be because the unexpressed negative emotions are stored in the cells within the body, as memory. So that when we encounter something that triggers that memory, we also access the emotional memory. Once the event has played out,  the original memory is then updated with the new information (emotion) and stored away until the next time. Resulting in an even bigger response than last time.

An example of this can be when someone has a phobia, of say, a spider. The moment they see or know of a spider, the body goes immediately to a response, be it to run, or stand still with fear.  And this happens so quickly, the person is unaware of the process that is going. Where their brain has recognised the trigger (the spider), accessed the memory and then produces a suitable response (the emotion).

So, potentially then, not expressing negative emotions, could lead to problems for the future.

Whether all the negative emotion is literally about Margaret Thatcher is questionable. As you can see, the emotions being expressed will more likely be the accumulation of memories. 

However, I am wondering that whilst it is not respectful, whether this might be just a good thing?  Allowing people to 'get it off their chest' all that they are angry about and at the same time to clear the air ?

I live and work in and around the  Hampshire (Basingstoke), Berkshire and Surrey borders working with people who are experiencing negative emotions that manifest themselves in many different ways. Email me in confidence if you would like to know how to help yourself let these go, kim@kimsearle.co.uk

"Come on! Come on! Start!..." The Immortal Words of John Cleese

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78b67l_yxUc

John Cleese...Fawlty Towers....hitting the car with a branch....

A very funny scene when his car stalls and he can't get it started again, at which point he starts to lose his temper!

And who of us, has not been frustrated with a piece of machinery or equipment at one time or another? Felt under pressure to do something, behave in a certain way or be something we are not? And most of us have experienced a health issue that has prevented us doing something we need or want to.

STRESS

It means so many different things to people.

In a good way it can drive us forwards to achieve what we need to achieve, to do what we need to do, or be who we need to be.

Stress is only a problem when it becomes consistent over a period of time, and/or increases beyond our (perceived) ability to cope. And even at this point, it is just the body's early warning system that something needs to change.

If we do not recognise these early warnings and just carry on, believing we have no choice, then we can begin to store problems up for ourselves. Our ability to think clearly, our emotional state and even our physical wellbeing becomes increasingly volatile, haphazard, clumsy (making mistakes, bursts of uncontrolled emotions or increase in accidents and illness).

In the next  Journey's of Discovery workshop in January, we will be looking at how we can identify our own personal stressors and what we can do about it. And over the next  few blogs, I will explore the typical reasons for stress, what happens in the body when we get stressed and the latest thinking about how to manage it for yourself.

Look for me on Twitter to see nuggets of information, Facebook for polls and links to other sites that may be of use or call me if you want help with Stress.

It doesn't much matter when you get in touch, just that you do.

How to be put off...Kayaking

It started as a beautiful day...I managed to get up in good time and in good spirits, as I headed out to the venue where I was going to have my introductory kayaking session.

I had been kayaking a few years back, a crowd of us, paddling along the river Thames near Reading. That was also a lovely day. We took some drinks with us and some snacks and paddled up the river for a few hours. It was idyllic; as cruise boats sailed past us, smaller punts, and even other rowers…the river was very busy. I am not sure now how far we went, but we even went through a lock which was possibly the scariest part, as we remained in our kayaks along with the larger boats.

So I had no reason to think this experience would be any different.

As I arrived at the canal, early for a change, I had time to take in my surroundings. The trees were beautifully green, and the grass was a healthy colour too, after the rains we have had recently. There were signs about the local bat community, which I read with interest having been on a bat walk some years ago. Nearby, a man was preparing his boats for the cruises that take place along the canal, starting up engines, removing covers, bringing them to life. Sounds of a day beginning.

As I enjoyed the tranquillity of being near water, I noticed I was not quite in the right place, because over to my right, further along the canal, I could see that some boats had appeared on the bank. So I headed up towards them, and then saw a building that was obviously where all the kayaks were stored. In front were 2 women, one of which immediately addressed me “are you kim?”  I was in the right place and there was one other woman it seemed who was going to join me in the taster session.

The instructor/coach was very good, she showed us how to make sure the bung was in the kayak (this ensured that water could be let out of the boat at the end of the session, so consequently was important to make sure no water got in either!); how to move the footplate so that our legs were firm against the sides of the boat; how to get in (easy when on solid ground!) and how to hold the paddles.

After this we were ready…together we helped each other take the boats down to the water’s edge. There was a small pier onto which the instructor showed us to first lay the paddle down within reach of the water, before moving the boat between the paddle and the water’s edge, but still on the pier. We were then to step down onto the pier and slide the boat into the water. So far, so good.

Then the time came to get in…ah! My first challenge. I knew that since I was last in a kayak my proportions were somewhat greater, but I knew that I had done it before with no problems; surely this would be no different?

Well, not entirely true, as it turned out. The idea was to put your feet either side of the kayak and then lift yourself in quickly. Fear was building, and as a consequence, I made an inelegant entry into the boat which rocked just a little more than I would have liked. Only slightly wet, I was at least in the water! Pushing away from the bank with my paddle, I moved into the centre of the canal. Up close the water was less than inviting. Very murky, brown/green algae clearly making up most of the content.

“Ok” says the instructor, “remember if you tip over, stay in your boat until you are upside down and then come out”. Now that seemed easier to say than do, I thought looking at the water, I can’t open my eyes under water in the local pool, never mind in this water, so there was not much chance of doing that here! I just prayed I stayed upright!

Well I sort of did…my challenge it would seem was to go in a straight-line. I was paddling really well…but in circles! As I moved down the canal doing very fancy circles, I was at least beginning to enjoy myself, imagining when I would be one of the proficient ones, enjoying some time on the canal. Only I must have got a little too confident, because I did something, and even now I am not sure what, and the boat did start to tip…just as I started to panic…that water was soooo not inviting. Whole swathes of water entered my boat with me, and I became drenched from the waist down…but the boat steadied itself and I was saved. “You’re alright! That happens” shouted the coach to me from further down the canal where my fellow student was taking to kayaking like a duck to water…staying upright, and going in a straight line. Whilst I was struggling to go in a straight line, I was beginning to wonder what I was doing…was I enjoying this…not as much as I had before, it seemed and that near miss had meant that now I was tense in case it happened again, suddenly my experience was a little less than enjoyable. Then the instructor, clearly seeing I needed help,  let down some small device that acted as a rudder – and this made all the difference! I was now going in a straight line, and the sloshing of water around my feet, didn’t bother me any more –I was really kayaking and began to enjoy myself again!

We paddled around a small island before heading back to the pier.

And then it hit me – I had to get out!

Panic set in, I knew even from my previous experience, this was not a pleasant moment, and I needed help and there was none here! “ Don’t worry” the instructor shouted after giving the instructions of what to do, “ the worst thing that can happen is you fall in”. She had no idea how much that was the worst thing!

I was closest to the bank, so I was to go first. Bringing the kayak up to the pier’s edge, I gripped the front of the opening where I sat, and tried to find a way where I could hold the pier and pull myself out….this is where, I found that combination of lack of arm strength and excess weight played against me…I did not have what it took to lift myself out! More encouragement from the water, was not helping me. I couldn’t find a way of pulling myself out, without making a complete tit of myself…but that was much better than falling in the water. So I launched myself out of the kayak and I now understand what the saying ‘a beached whale’ must really be like – I was on my knees, my bum proudly in the air, my hands grabbing for purchase between the planks, and my right cheek firmly on the pier. But I was safe! I had done it! Unceremoniously maybe, definitely undignified, and a complete lack of grace (which my fellow student managed with some aplomb – grrrr).

But despite that, I felt good about having just completed my taster session. I had been humiliated, soaked and in fear but I had done it!

We wrapped up the session wiping down the boat, and after we had put them away, the instructor pointed to a water tap and said “ you must always wash your hands afterwards”. She should have stopped there, I would have been ok with that, ignorance is bliss and all that. I knew what the water was like, I didn’t need any more, but clearly she hadn’t finished…” you have to do this, because of rat’s wee” she said nonchantly “ they carry a potential virus, which could be quite nasty, so washing your hands is the most important thing you must do when you finish.” Her happy go lucky smile face asked “Will we see you next week?” I went pale before wanting to flee to the showers, to remove all my clothing, and scrub myself thoroughly.

It was the mention of rodents that did it, up to that point, all my training could be brought to bear on the confidence of getting in and out of the boat, of the fear of dealing with being submerged in that water….but the idea of rat’s,  urine and viral infections did it. I would not be going back. I felt tainted – yuck -my kayaking days were well and truly over before they started.

Am off now to find another water sport, where I can forget the idea of rat’s, rodents or any other small creatures.